i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
