Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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