Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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