I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
