Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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