When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
