That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
