People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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