windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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