We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
