Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
