I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
