And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
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Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
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were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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