Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
