he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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