she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize