Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
