I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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