oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
