is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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