Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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