I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
