idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
