Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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