Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize