Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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