You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
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my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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