If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
