i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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