soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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