If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
