Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
