And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
