White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
