You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
