things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
