She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
