Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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