to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The feeling are messing with the penis
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
