"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
