I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
