i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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