just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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