College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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