But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
