She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Non-Jews are for practice
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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