she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize