I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
