Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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