Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
