i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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