Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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