Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i've created a new STD.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
