I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
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Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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