don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
why do cheetos always look like penises
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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