It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
